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Ielts Essay Student Behaviour

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this?

What solutions can you suggest?

Sample response

Teachers play an important role in the proper development of children. Since they want their students to grow into responsible and successful adults, they are often strict with them. Unfortunately, this creates a lot of problems between children and teachers. Children, especially teens, do not like it when their teachers rebuke or punish them. This frustration with the teachers and the unsympathetic environment at school often manifests itself as misbehavior in the class.

In many schools, the relation between students and teachers has soured over the years. Teaching has become just another profession today. Earlier teachers used to treat their students as their own children. Now many schools are only interested in getting excellent results. They push their students hard to achieve higher grades. Teachers, too, are losing their commitment to their job. Many of them are now only concerned about their salaries and have a tough time winning the love and respect of their students.

Students tend to misbehave in the class when the teacher is not ‘popular’ with them. This will encourage the teacher to take stringent punitive measures which in turn will further sour the relationship between the teacher and the student.

Misbehaviour in the class or the school is almost always an indication that something is wrong with the child. They may be facing problems at home or they may have trouble getting on in the class. In either case, a teacher who probes into their mind will be able to find the problems and suggest solutions. Unfortunately, very few teachers have this kind of interest in their students today. However, they cannot be blamed for this. The school syllabus is becoming fatter and fatter. Teachers are already struggling to complete their portions before exams so they have little time to offer counseling to the students.

To conclude, student misbehaviour is almost always an indication that they are not happy with the treatment they receive from teachers and school authorities. Instead of resorting to punitive actions, the schools and teachers should make a sincere effort to find out the underlying causes that encourage students to misbehave. Once these problems are addressed many students will start behaving normally.

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IELTS Writing Sample

School Problems With Student Behavior

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IELTS Writing Sample - Task 2Go To Sample

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior. what do you think are the causes of this? what solutions can you suggest?

How many words? How long?

One Possible Solution: (Nothing is perfect! Please take this as an example only!)

This resource has been reviewed. However, there are many mistakes. Please check the critique so that you can become aware of these common errors! Half of the mistakes have been fixed and the rest is given to you as an exercise. You are encouraged to comment and report other mistakes because they are normally repeated in the essay. Doing this gives you a better understanding of how to improve your writing skills.

Negative student behavior in school environment has become alarmingly high about which many people are concerned. School managers mention the steady growth of these trends will damage the education system. I believe that you can find the reasons of this disorder in our educational environments and non-qualified teachers.

It is strongly proved that the atmosphere has a significant effect on human reactions. Low air quality standards, lacking of air conditioning, insufficient space for playing, crowded environments are some examples that scientists have proven to be linked to students behavior. The reason is that students are young and energetic so they need to have more outdoor activities. Governments should modify school standards and allocate more subsidies to school managers to reorganize the facilities and space and also to change the shape of our educational area from an office to a calm place for our students.

Besides that, most of our teachers and school managers are not qualified personnel. Statistics show that just three out of twenty five teachers in my country have passed mental related courses and are familiar with some basic needs of students and youngsters. The results attributed to our school managers is worst by just three persons out of a hundred which indicates that there is a strong demand for using of psychologists and educational consultants to plan a appropriate program.

This writing is found under the following category(ies):
IELTS Opinion Essays  

This critique is meant for the writing from amirameri83. This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected. Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction to understand this critique!

You were not able to achieve the task. You are supposed to pinpoint the causes and to suggest your solutions. However, you mentioned only the causes but not the solutions.
Vocabulary is weak and you need to put more effort into improving it. There were many words/phrases you used incorrectly.

Paragraphs are poorly organised.

Compare to the original writing.

+ "effective point" is not what you meant. Effective is to be successful in producing a desired or intended result.
+ Student behaviour is the main problem not "Complaining about students' reactions". It's wrong to write "Complaining about students' reactions in school environment becomes ...".
+ "Behavior" is different from "reactions". "Reaction" is how you respond to an event.
+ Plural: "the steady growth of these trend" -> "the steady growth of these trends".
+ Wrong "a significant effects": you used "a" but "effects" is in plural form.
+ "inadequate space" -> "insufficient space". Try to understand the difference between them. It can somhow improve your level of English. Otherwise, you can post a question below.
+ You shouldn't use "so on" in your essay. The sentence you used it already meant there were more things like that.
+ "young and fresh" -> it sounds like "fresh meat" ???
+ "Since students are young": when you use "since", there must be 2 clauses.
+ "modify" is not a correct word to use in that context.
+ "The other effective point": did you mention it before?
+ "experted"??? It's not a correct word.

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